no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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