does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
