i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
