Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
