Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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