How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
