I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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