She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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