I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
