new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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