k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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