Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
