honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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