Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
