Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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