Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
