Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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