it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
