you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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