I got chris browned last night
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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