don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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