hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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