her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize