she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
