For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize