You're completely useless in the revolution.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
