That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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