is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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