I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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