What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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