My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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