My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
