I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am available for nakedness
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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