wat bout pragnant strippers??
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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