Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wear drunk well.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
