I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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