I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize