I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she told me i tasted like america
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
