Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We need to get me chipped asap
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
