I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
