Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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