One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
