Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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