did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
