I look better un-naked...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
