Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
