I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
