I'm really into asian looking animals
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
