remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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