Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
