You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize