oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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