He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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