yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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