oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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