waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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