he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
