im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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