Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
