i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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