We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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