I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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