champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
