Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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