Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
