i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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