I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
