I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
