just tell him i said nine months
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
